Real Love

The other day I was talking to two young women and they kept telling me that true love doesn’t exist.  They complained that guys don’t know anything about love and romance and that it is hard to find couples that are happy after being together for some years.  I thought this was a very sad statement, but it made me think… What are we teaching our young people about love? And what is our example telling them?

You may also be a little skeptical about the …“and they lived happily ever after” ending.  When we look around it is becoming a real challenge to find happily married couples and maybe one way or another we have experienced the complete opposite, but no matter what, I still believe in love.  Love is real and very much alive; it is possible and attainable.  How can I be so sure? God said it and I believe Him.  “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.  And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” (1 John 4:16-17) “We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us.”  (1 John 3:16).  You may argue, “yes, but that is God’s love, that is way up there, and we are talking about the everyday happenings in our relationships between friends; boyfriends and girlfriends; husbands and wives” First of all our relationship with God is very real and it is the most important one we will ever have.   Besides, God gives us advice for all the other relationships in our life; we can find all the answers in the Bible. God tells us how to treat our friends “Do for others as you would like them to do for you.” (Luke 6:31); and He advices couples to choose a partner who believes in Christ “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14).  He speaks to young people “How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word and following its rules.” (Psalm 119:9) and gives advice to married couples “You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church…And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.  He gave up his life for her.” (Ephesians 5:22-25) 

Like Toby Mac’s song says “This ain’t no ordinary love”  This is deep, it goes beyond the superficial things that bother us, the things that we want and we don’t get, real love is about following Jesus’ example, so if we want to practice real love, we need to read about His life and imitate it. 

The thing is that real love is very different from what has been rooted in our mind, real love is not about the butterflies in our stomach; I mean we do get those and we should, but it has to go deeper, because if that is all there is in a relationship, sooner or later those butterflies will fly away.  Real love requires time, dedication, and many times sacrifice. But not the sacrifice many people think about… We are not talking about putting up with someone “for the children” while doing nothing to make things better, or having a martyr attitude… Jesus didn’t die for us so we would live and love half way; He has prepared big thing for us, but we have to do our part.

Love requires patience and humbleness “Be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:2) When two people in a relationship put God first and ask Him to teach them to love the way He does, then His love flows; it is a daily display of respect, joy and appreciation.  It is enjoying the other person for who she or he is, not who we wish they were.  They may still have those little things that drive us crazy, but they seem so small when we look at all the good things they have. “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

Love is possible, you can believe it and start practicing; don’t give up, love always wins! Keep close this beautiful verse from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  Love does not demand its own way.  Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.  It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”   Let’s put these words into practice and teach our children what real love is so then they can love and be loved as God intended it.